My friend Ed gave me this shirt in 2004/2005. It was from his home of Uganda, so I didn’t want to tell him I wish he’d gotten me an XXL instead of an XL. It was tight, and I tried stretching the midsection without popping the hem. (I popped the hem, my biggest fat girl woe.)
Still, I’ve worn it to its edge.
This week, I was having a “fat week” and feeling down, so I pulled this out to sleep in because it’s comfy. I’ve been down to my pre-surgery weight of 175 (got to 174!) and back up again to 186. It’s been annoying, but I’ve been lazy. I hate the cold, so when I’ve cheated on my calories, I haven’t been countering it with working out. In the midst of all this, it’s really easy to get hung up on where I am, not where I’m going or even where I’ve been.
Let me reiterate that this shirt fit snugly around my midsection. It’s not even the biggest shirt I ever owned. I yo-yo’d in college, always up and down. Still, this shirt is from a year I look back on as massive so far as my weight is concerned. (See below. No photos of me actually in this shirt unfortunately.)
Look at it now. It would be too big even on my dad (a horse of a man at 6’4″)!
If you are in this journey, too (or even if you’re thinking about starting) set aside one of your favorite outfits. I didn’t keep around any of my pants, and I highly regret it. I wish I could really see where I’ve come and remind myself from time to time.
That being said, don’t keep them forever. I have plans for Jean and t-shirt quilts once I get to 150. That’s a “before the wedding” sort of plan, and one that, for the first time in my adult life, seems completely and easily attainable. 35 lbs.? That’s the cover of People magazine kinda deal. “Lose X by summer!” I’m working on it everyday, still using Lose It!, and vowing to get up in the mornings and start working out again.
Just remember, some days you just have to remember where you started.